Divorce is not a fun situation and emotions almost always run high. Add in a dash of holiday stress and you’re probably not acting like yourself. Joint custody can be an uncomfortable situation for two people that may not want to be near each other, but it’s a fact that you have to act in the best interests of your child(ren) and that this part isn’t about you. Here are 5 tips to help make your joint custody arrangement work for everyone involved.
- Try not to “bad mouth” your child’s other parent. We know that there are unresolved issues that often surface but try to keep in mind that you will be shaping your child’s view towards your ex-spouse with negative thoughts if you say negative things in front of them. This will cause unamicable feelings in the long run.
- Remember that just because you think your partner wasn’t a great spouse, it doesn’t necessarily have any relevance to their parenting abilities. Your ex could be a wonderful Mom or Dad but not so great in the marriage department. They are completely separate roles.
- Child custody arrangements should have nothing to do with “winning” or your own ego. They are about your child’s well-being and only that. If your chid would be better off with your ex-spouse on certain days for any reason, it’s much more thoughtful to let them be there.
- When making arrangements, take these factors into consideration:
- Your child’s age
- Your child care arrangements
- Your child’s schedule, your schedule and your ex’s schedule
- Your child’s specific needs
- Try and be realistic about your life and how your child will fit in. Don’t react completely emotionally and demand time with your child that you just don’t have. Instead think about your work/travel schedule and other aspects of your life before you schedule your time.
Joint custody is a wonderful solution for people who choose to get a divorce or separation. It can work out really well if you put your child’s needs at the forefront and work out a realistic and fair schedule.